Photo by Jen Light

Quality time with family is so important. When each of my boys reach 10 years old, they know something special will happen. That is when they begin planning a one-on-one trip with me during the summer for 5 to 7 days. This trip is always to accompany me on a business trip to another city or country, sit in each of the business meetings, and get to experience what it is their father does for a living. What’s exciting is this is a trip they get to have every year and always to a different location.

During the day, they sit in every one of my business meetings which gives me an opportunity to see first-hand the relationships that I have and what causes business to progress.  These trips aren’t all work and no play. We are sure to plan experiences that are uniquely important to them and who they are. In the past, my sons have chosen to play golf at a course they’ve always heard about or view a great play in London or NYC, or go to a baseball game at Fenway Park in Boston. I try to give them the experience of visiting my favorite restaurants or sites in cities that I often visit as well to share with them my passions, as well.

It is amazing having my boys with me and sharing that time with them. I greatly enjoy sharing with them my passion for the work I do as well as teaching them why I do and say what I do in meetings, how to act professionally and how to present myself. All of these elements are vitally important to success and are applicable no matter what career path they take in life. These are real life moments where I can take the opportunity to teach them important lessons while at the same time watching grow personally and professionally as they develop their own powerful presence.

With sons who are now 24, 21, 12 and 10, I’m looking forward to the trips this summer. Brennan counted down the months until his 10th birthday, as he knew his trip was coming. The tradition will continue with Bryson, our recently 10-year-old, and he’s looking forward to his trip this summer.  The countless memories that have been forged and the experience each of my sons have gained from our family and individual trips, is my way of preparing them for the real life situations that they will experience once they are running their own companies or working in their field of choice. They are developing their leadership skills, world view, and business insights that will be tied to our times together.

The memories for me though are worth more than any trophy or any amount of money that I possess.  Sitting on the plane sometimes by myself reliving in my mind the different trips, deep conversations, the laughter and seeing their eyes light up when they do something they’d only imagined.  Memories… Braden at 11 years old, staying in London at the Lanesborough Hotel, touring history with my son, seeing a play on London’s “Broadway” and walking the streets of London, eating at my favorite Chinese restaurant Hakkasan and talking about the days meetings.  Waking up in the morning on the coast of California with Barrett at 14 years old, driving in the car to our first meeting and talking about our day, seeing him in the crowd as I spoke at an investment banking conference and feeling more pride knowing one of the most important people in the world was watching me, playing golf in the afternoon then feeling so incredible that night as we watched the San Francisco Giants win their first game of the playoffs in the season they won the World Series.  My first trip with Brennan to Puerto Rico where we boarded the plane and I looked to see the amazing smile of happiness, scuba diving with him in crystal blue water and him standing on stage with me as he spoke with such eloquence and price about some of the most incredible people in the world. Memories I’ll cherish for a lifetime!

These trips are designed to expand my son’s horizons and broaden their worldly perspectives, but I find myself constantly learning from my son’s unique vision and dreams. In the end, I may appreciate these trips even more than my sons do. I cannot wait for our next trip together.

The post How Business Trips Will Teach Quality in Work and the Power of Relationships appeared first on Ryan Wuerch.

Photo Credits: Dave Crosby

Every once in a while, someone will ask me how I fit in quality family time while working and traveling. Ultimately, it is all about making the decision to prioritize that part of your life. I have previously talked about my 24 Boxcar theory, where every hour of your day is a boxcar, and you make choices on what to fill those cars with.

Family time must be part of those 24 boxcars, even when I am out of town.

The way I look at it, family time does not always have to be an extensively planned outing. Quality family time is right at our fingertips, yet is often overlooked. I’ve always believed that in order to have quality time, you have to make quantity time. The reality is you can’t make quality time. Rather, you have to have enough quantity of time and then quality time will appear when you least expect it. Take, for example, the daily practice of family dinner. This is a hugely important part of strengthening family and community bonds. It gives families a chance to create engaging conversation between siblings and between children and parents.

It can be easy to get stuck in a rut of daily questions that don’t lead to engagement but instead lead to the same stock answers. Questions such as “What happened today at school?” can often lead to a known dead end answer of “nothing” or “the usual.” While these are important questions to ask your children, they are not the most effective way to bond and grow with them. That’s why, during my family time, I’ve found it invaluable to ask questions that spark the imagination, expand knowledge, and get everyone involved to create cross-generational relationships. These types of questions can range from the personal to the aspirational to the theoretical.

One way to spark true engagement is to make it a game by creating or purchasing a deck of dinner table question cards with a prompt or question that will start conversation about a topic that may never have arisen otherwise. Questions such as: “Where would you choose to live if you had to live in another country?” “Which wild animal would you most like to be?” “Which family or school rule would you most like to change?” “Is it more charitable to spend your money or time?

Through these conversations we learn more about our own hopes, dreams, and aspirations as well as those of our family, all over a single dinner.

One of the most significant benefits of these conversations to our family, which always seem to expand beyond the original scope of the question asked, is we get a chance to learn that we share many of the same hopes and dreams for ourselves as we do for one another, giving us a unique chance to learn from one another and a deeper understanding of how closely we’re all connected through our familial bond.

Another way to engage your children and make them feel special, valued and a part of what you do outside of the home is to bring them into your current environment. Just yesterday morning, as our 11 year old son, Brennan, was having breakfast and getting ready for school I said to him, “Brennan, I’d really like to tell you about all the different business deals I have going on right now so you can understand every time I’m talking about it at home. I’d also like to get your thoughts on some things.” He immediately got a smile on his face and said, “I’d like that.” Yesterday afternoon when he came home from school, one of the first things he asked me was, “Dad, can you tell me about all the deals you’re working on?” It was obvious to me that he’d been waiting all day to talk with me about it. Sometimes all it takes is to simply engage and get the conversation going.

These are just some of the ways I work to build relationships with my sons and my wife. I try to be very purposeful with the sometimes limited time I have with my family whether it is through the Red Plate tradition, helping them learn about finances and investment or simply through talking with them over dinner, and I am very thankful for each of these moments with my family.

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I previously have written about creating meaningful traditions that last, and how in our family, one way to do this is with the special “Red Plate” that symbolizes a special event or achievement from one of us in our home. It can be a birthday, a graduation, special sporting event or accomplishment, or it could even be the day of a doctor’s appointment, but whomever comes to the kitchen table in the morning and sees the Red Plate at where they sit, they know they are going to be celebrated. Every one of us – my four sons, my wife Shawntel, and I – all look forward to seeing the Red Plate.

Our family has another way of creating meaningful traditions.  Another major event happens when our boys reach their 10th birthday, when they have the opportunity to accompany me to a meeting with my stockbroker, and learn what the stock market is and how it works. And on that special day I place $1,000 into their stock account, and my boys have 100% control what happens to it – I let them manage it as they see fit, as long as they keep the money in the stock trading account. They are in charge of choosing the stocks, researching the companies, which I’ve found provides an invaluable lesson in beginning to understand financial management and develop skills that will serve them well throughout their lives.

My son Brennan made his first stock picks when he turned 10 years old this past July: Facebook, Apple and Amazon. Only 7 months after he picked his first stocks for his account, he’s seen a 21% gain in his portfolio.  I’ll never forget taking his older brother Braden (who is now 22 years old) to open up his stock trading account when was 10 years old.  He sat with my broker wearing a blue sport coat and so eager about what he was getting to do.  Braden bought Coca Cola because it was his favorite drink, McDonalds because it was his favorite restaurant, Best Buy because he thought it was the coolest store, AOL because he loved the internet and Gateway because it was his computer. In his first two years Braden had a 38% return in his portfolio! That included a 6.7% return in his first several months, and his brother Brennan is even showing some of the same return results.

What does this show? That in investing, as in so many other areas of life, it’s good to go with what you know and like! I remember my brokers telling the boys not to think of the stock market as charts, graphs or newspaper headlines but rather think of it as way to buy a part of the companies you think are great and that you think will be great for a long time, the Warren Buffet philosophy. The boys were instructed to take two weeks and ask me what companies that they liked were public or private. It was after two weeks that they were to buy companies they like, buy what their friends like, and what they and their friends would like for a long time. None of those things took a computer program to analyze.

This tradition of investing has imparted so much wisdom to my boys, like lessons in money management and sound investment principles. It’s also a good way to impart the values of saving as well has learning how money can be put to work for work, as opposed to spending money on things that don’t provide a valuable return.

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People often ask me “How do you do it?” How do I spend so much focused time with my family, at work, training for marathons and with philanthropic causes and still manage to make the time high value and high quality? As I’ve talked about in a previous blog, it is all about living with purpose.

We tend to live in a microwave and fast-food society where we want everything immediately and as cheap as possible. But throughout my life I’ve found that enduring results and reward actually come through consistently doing the right thing with consistency over a long period of time. A good family friend, Tommy Thompson, said to me when our eldest son, Braden, was just 6 years old, “You can never really have quality time with your children unless you have quantity time with them, because you never know when the quality moments will sneak up on you.” There is nothing fast or microwaveable about that.

Early on in our sons’ lives, I decided as a father it was going to be important to establish traditions that could be carried through each of our children’s lives and then be passed down through generations. These traditions would build character, intelligence, values and a heritage. The traditions would also foster a high degree of self-worth and create precious moments with our children.

This is the first of a series of blogs that talks about these different traditions my wife, Shawntel, and I have developed and why I believe they have had a positive impact on our children’s lives and our own as parents.

We have a special red plate that says, “You are special today.” It has become a great symbol in our household. This red plate is placed where our sons sit at the table on days we feel are special or significant for them – it can be a birthday, a graduation, special sporting event or accomplishment, or it could even be the day of a doctor’s appointment. When one of our boys is going to be celebrated, he comes to the table and see the plate in his spot. Immediately, a smile brightens his face because he knows that this morning is his morning. He will get his favorite breakfast and everyone in the family will take a turn telling him why he is special to them. Watching our youngest son wait in anticipation as his older brothers talk about how he is important, valued and unique, creates a sense of happiness, confidence and great worth in him. These moments cannot be replaced or overvalued. Even my wife, Shawntel, and I have come to be excited when we see the red plate at our spot on the table. There is rarely a red plate day without tears of joy.

As a parent, it is vitally important to develop habits that will keep you on purpose with your children. The red plate is an easy way for us to focus on the accomplishments and joys of each of our uniquely special children. Over the years, I passed this tradition on to many of my friends and family. They now use it as their own and it has been so rewarding to hear their positive stories that accompany this new tradition that has been established in their family. This tradition has created such incredible reward for both our children and for us as parents throughout the years.

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Sharon introduced me to the Respite Center’s mission to provide emotional and physical support for individuals with disabilities and their families. I knew on the spot that I had to be involved.

Shawntel and I with Sharon and some of her amazing staff

I continue to proudly support the center and the profound impact it has on the lives of children and their families. Any assistance that others can provide will be greatly appreciated by Sharon and her staff.

Here’s a link to the center’s website.

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My family and I fall into the category of one separated and spread across multiple states. Although spread a part, we have tried to maintain our bond and, for that, I am extremely grateful. One of the most precious bonds to me is my grandmother – Granny to me, Lydia Wuerch to others.

This month our family is celebrating her 90th birthday with a month of daily affirmations and surprises. My mom, Donna, is helping to spearhead the festivities and is keeping all of us up-to-date daily through Facebook. This week, our family had the opportunity to celebrate with Granny and treat her to the giant Solavei bus rolling up in front of her house.

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Granny is a beautiful woman and one of my most significant influences in life. It is an honor to celebrate the rich heritage she cultivates for our family – teaching us all that faith is the number one thing in life, after that comes family and then everything else. The lessons I’ve learned from her are too numerous to count. Even being a Solavei member is natural for Granny because whether it’s sporting games, shopping trips, school plays, birthday parties or a new business venture – if one of her kids, grand-kids or great-grand-kids is involved – Granny is always right there to show her support.

I want to always honor Granny by cultivating heritage in our family. Nothing in life is more important than the people you choose to spend it with – I’m thankful for my heritage.

Celebrating Granny’s 90th Birthday

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Epiphany is focused on providing financial, humanitarian and educational assistance to those in need. My
grandfather and father spent their lives supporting missionary work in Central
and South America and Haiti, along with benevolence efforts in the United States.

“I am dedicated to carrying on the mission established by my family.”

I currently serve as chairman of Epiphany International, and am dedicated to carrying on
the mission established by my family.

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ICDI is a non-profit organization dedicated to eradicating persistent poverty by providing sustainable solutions to the problems faced by impoverished people. It was through ICDI that I first visited the Central African Republic and Pigmy villages
near the edge of the Congo.

We helped dig community wells so the people there could get clean water.

No one should have to watch their child die from preventable water borne diseases. ICDI helps communities begin to break the cycle of sickness and poverty by providing access to clean water.

We met members of the community whose lives would be forever changed by something that we take for granted every day – water. I will carry their smiles, gratitude and resilience with me for the rest of my life.

ICDI partners with Vision Trust to provide Orphan care services. Their orphan care services include medical checkups, nutritional checkups, support training for the family that’s caring for the orphan, as well as Biblical lessons, and optional vocational training in sewing and woodworking.

The experience forever changed me when I saw the impact that such assistance could provide to a group of some of the poorest people in the world.

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